The Coolest Parents in Mayberry ...

Some people are naturally cool.  Others ... well, we need a little help.  Last weekend, I got a little boost in the cool department.  Not just any boost.  We're talking the kind of boost that when my children are in therapy years later - talking of all the things they missed out on as children ... and the floral car seat I made them sit on ... I can hold my head high and know ... that back in the day ...  

My children had ... a WATERSLIDE!

The story of "How We Became the Coolest Parents on the Block" ... is a long one ... it involved traveling to Costco with our neighbors (who split the cost of the slide with us so they too could also be skyrocketed into the realm of cool) ... nothing.  Walmart.  Nothing.  And then, Shelly hit the jackpot.  KOHLS.  50% off ... PERFECT!  It took mere seconds to inflate and then it was FUN, FUN, FUN!!

J. How on his first trek down ... 

Our version of Splash Mountain ... 

Mr. FEARLESS!

Um ... change that.  Mr. Sort of Fearless who'd prefer that his mom was totally focused and was available to catch him as he plunged into the freezing cold water instead of snapping pictures. 

And just in case you needed further proof of our new coolness ... we documented the night with with a picture of our purchase.  

Okay .. so who wants to come play??

Time To Bust Out the Leg Warmers ...

Where was J How in the 80's when Jane and Richard needed an assistant?

My Little Mess Makers ...

Last week, it was WARM (um, 105 ish!!!) and our time in the "outside world" was a bit limited!  Children were bouncing off furniture ... and I was very close to pulling out my newly cut and colored hair.   So how does one entertain two of her own children (and one borrowed neighbor child) for more than twenty minutes in the great INDOORS?    Two words ... FINGER PAINTS!

Out came the huge roll of craft paper and off came the clothes (except for the borrowed child ... just in case her mom is reading this ... we have a strict clothes on policy for borrowed children)
And then I made a small mistake.  I left the room for mere SECONDS ... and this is what I returned to ... the finger paints suddenly became body paints ... 
And J How's Mini-Me ... just had to get in on the fun ... 
Time for hand prints ... made MUCH more fun when you raise your hand three feet high and SMACK the paper!  Even more fun when you find paint ALL over the place days later ... 
And ... as with most things in life ... all good things must come to and end.  In our case, the end came abruptly when I realized the disaster that was in front of my eyes and watched my youngest beginning to paint the dining room chairs.  Perhaps the next time the temps hit 105 ... we'll try something calming and clean ... maybe YOGA??

Clearly ...

SOMEONE in our home feels that using dishes ...

Is a COMPLETE waste of time!

Pit Stop ...

Eeerrrk! Vrmmm! Vrrmmm! Squuuueeeaaakkkk!

Just an average day in the life of J. Howard and E. Bennett. Find a box of diapers ... a few tools ... and decide it's time to practice their pit stop skills!

Just Be Thankful ...

That there is no audio version of this performance ...
It was loud. It was off key. It was out of tune. It lasted FOREVER. And it was a whole lot of fun to see those twenty fingers working together :) Although ... I am totally going to the store and stocking up on extra earplugs. This is shaping up to be a very loud next 18 years of my life!!

Welcome To The NUT House ...

I used to think I was normal.  I lived a very normal existence in a normal house with a normal husband and normal children.  We did very normal things ... we'd eat a normal breakfast, do some normal errands, and pay some normal bills. 

But after a recent trip to my mom's house, I think I might as well stop kidding myself.  We are not normal.  We might not even be on the normal radar.  Normal might be so far out of our reach that I might want to void the word normal from being spoken in our home:

Shortly after arriving at my mom's, Eli decided that How How needed to be introduced to his cars - all named "Joey" because my children have a not normal obsession with racing.  I know what you're thinking.  This isn't bad.  You could still be normal.  Just wait.

Then we quickly i-Chatted with my brother and his family.  And then my grandparents suddenly disappeared and then Eli slipped in a pool of blood.  Where did the blood come from and where were my grandparents? 

While we searched from GiGi and HowHow ... who were later found in the bathroom, bandaging up a wound on my grandpa's leg ... Joshua discovered that my mom has added rollers to the bottom of her ottoman.  Grandpa is on the couch.  Eli is smothering him with toys and kisses.  And Joshua ... he is screaming "LOOK AT MY BURNOUTS!" as he is flying down the hallway on the ottoman doubling as a race car.  

Not to let anything stop us from opening gifts ... we began tearing open all sorts of goodies destined to make us even better mothers ... (GiGi got a fashionable bracelet made by the hands of J. How, I got sewing stuff and my mom ... 

instantly sky-rocketed past me in the cool department when the boys gave her a PINK iPod).

Eli continued to bring HowHow random treats ... until 

he declared his need to go "pee pee" ... quickly followed him ripping off his shorts and diaper and running down the hallway to use the "babeee" potty.  After multiple attempts to crawl in the toilet and not a drop of pee pee in sight ... we came back down the hall ...
to discover that Joshua had now become a cat ... and was taking my mom's yarn and wrapping the contents of the house with its softness.  Under, over, inside, around.  The kid didn't miss a spot ... and even dished out the yarn while meowing.  Talent!

In the meantime, Eli ... who was still diaperless ... had crawled up onto the chair and found a book ... all the while protesting my suggestion for finding his pants.  And don't think that a foot injury kept How out of the game ... nope, he and Gigi spent the next 20 minutes untangling our little J. How's yarn mess.  Nothing like a calm evening to celebrate Mother's Day, huh? 

=====================================

Normal.  Maybe I'll get there someday.  But for now ... I think we're well on our way to being certifiably CRAZY!

Feast Your Eyes Upon This ...

They took their sweet time but I knew my genes would eventually show up!

Thank goodness.

A Lazy Day ...

And with good reason ...

A dear neighbor and friend called yesterday and gave us a fabulous gift ...

paying to have our house cleaned!

So ... there wasn't much else to do around here ... but enjoy the smell of CLEAN ... And put our feet up ...
You see, even in the muck, God's blessings are all over the place!

HAPPY 6th Anniversary To US ....

Year Six ...

Our BEST year yet ...

And I got the best gift ... a trinity necklace from IRELAND! My only request when Ben went there last month and he told me he came home with nothing. He's a sneaky one ...
I'm seriously wishing I had some of that cake to eat right now ... YUMMY!
Oh ... and this attractive bonus picture ... my special gift to you. I was just admiring how wide I could open my mouth. Pretty impressive. Especially since my jaw is currently LOCKED and I had to eat my lunch at Jamba Juice! Oh well ... as long as I don't have to blend up my dinner. I'd like to save that little treat until we celebrate our 60th :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BENNI!

Today is the BIG 33. I am blessed beyond words to have married THE CUTEST BOY EVER! Ben has more character and depth than I thought possible to be contained in one person! He's certainly a KEEPER (unlike that little fish he caught on a recent fly fishing trip!!) We've got ourselves an interesting day ahead of us ... but at the end of it all ... we will look back and remember how God held us tightly in His hands and walked us through this tricky patch. Benni .... not quite how I envisioned spending your 33rd birthday ... but we'll go on a LONG vacation VERY soon .... and enjoy LOTS of beverages with little umbrellas!

SOMEHOW ...

Almost six years ago, Ben and I got hitched. At the time, he did this for a living:
I understand the above. I get green grass. I love quiet. I enjoy riding around in golf carts. I like the stress of tournaments unless it's a playoff situation - say for the US Open qualifier - and yours truly needed to caddy for the above. I like fancy courses that have chefs on the 5th and 12th holes cooking up burgers and making fresh smoothies. I don't get putting and think that the entire game takes an incredibly long time (I'd change a few rules if it was up to me) ... but at least, golf and I "get" each other.
This, however, is something I don't get. I've tried. I was even given The Girl's Guide to NASCAR for my 30th birthday. I don't get ugly tracks and hot pavement. I don't get listing off nineteen sponsors before you can answer a question. I don't get the half coherent crowds cheering a flash of color blazing by on the track.

But somehow, the above is more appealing to a three year old than quiet, green grass. And because of that, this is what echos through the walls of our home:

(If the second part was hard to understand, he's saying: "This is going to be fun. All right. Reach up and pull those straps tight one more time. All right. All right. Boogity. Boogity. Boogity. Let's go racing boys.")

Oh ... and don't even get me started on the pictures hanging above Joshua's bed. Those of Joey Lagano, Tony Stewart, Jimmy Johnson and Jeff Gordon. Or the routine that consists of me viewing those pictures on a nightly basis and reciting their numbers to J. How ... who afterwards applauds me on my ability to get the numbers right!

People .... HELP!