I used to think I was normal. I lived a very normal existence in a normal house with a normal husband and normal children. We did very normal things ... we'd eat a normal breakfast, do some normal errands, and pay some normal bills.
But after a recent trip to my mom's house, I think I might as well stop kidding myself. We are not normal. We might not even be on the normal radar. Normal might be so far out of our reach that I might want to void the word normal from being spoken in our home:
Shortly after arriving at my mom's, Eli decided that How How needed to be introduced to his cars - all named "Joey" because my children have a not normal obsession with racing. I know what you're thinking. This isn't bad. You could still be normal. Just wait.
Then we quickly i-Chatted with my brother and his family. And then my grandparents suddenly disappeared and then Eli slipped in a pool of blood. Where did the blood come from and where were my grandparents?
While we searched from GiGi and HowHow ... who were later found in the bathroom, bandaging up a wound on my grandpa's leg ... Joshua discovered that my mom has added rollers to the bottom of her ottoman. Grandpa is on the couch. Eli is smothering him with toys and kisses. And Joshua ... he is screaming "LOOK AT MY BURNOUTS!" as he is flying down the hallway on the ottoman doubling as a race car.
Not to let anything stop us from opening gifts ... we began tearing open all sorts of goodies destined to make us even better mothers ... (GiGi got a fashionable bracelet made by the hands of J. How, I got sewing stuff and my mom ...
instantly sky-rocketed past me in the cool department when the boys gave her a PINK
iPod).
Eli continued to bring HowHow random treats ... until
he declared his need to go "pee pee" ... quickly followed him ripping off his shorts and diaper and running down the hallway to use the "
babeee" potty. After multiple attempts to crawl in the toilet and not a drop of pee pee in sight ... we came back down the hall ...
to discover that Joshua had now become a cat ... and was taking my mom's yarn and wrapping the contents of the house with its softness. Under, over, inside, around. The kid didn't miss a spot ... and even dished out the yarn while meowing. Talent!
In the meantime, Eli ... who was still diaperless ... had crawled up onto the chair and found a book ... all the while protesting my suggestion for finding his pants. And don't think that a foot injury kept How out of the game ... nope, he and Gigi spent the next 20 minutes untangling our little J. How's yarn mess. Nothing like a calm evening to celebrate Mother's Day, huh?
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Normal. Maybe I'll get there someday. But for now ... I think we're well on our way to being certifiably CRAZY!
Out came the huge roll of craft paper and off came the clothes (except for the borrowed child ... just in case her mom is reading this ... we have a strict clothes on policy for borrowed children)
And then I made a small mistake. I left the room for mere SECONDS ... and this is what I returned to ... the finger paints suddenly became body paints ... 
And J How's Mini-Me ... just had to get in on the fun ... 
Time for hand prints ... made MUCH more fun when you raise your hand three feet high and SMACK the paper! Even more fun when you find paint ALL over the place days later ... 
And ... as with most things in life ... all good things must come to and end. In our case, the end came abruptly when I realized the disaster that was in front of my eyes and watched my youngest beginning to paint the dining room chairs. Perhaps the next time the temps hit 105 ... we'll try something calming and clean ... maybe YOGA??
